


The Busman's Holiday

by DoctorBane



Category: Batman (Comics), due South
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 04:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15923339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorBane/pseuds/DoctorBane
Summary: On the trail of the murderer of the Flying Graysons, Batman comes to town. Little does he know, a certain Mountie is not one of his biggest fans...





	The Busman's Holiday

I don't like Chicago. 

At its heart, it's like Gotham; but it's not familiar. There's no Gordon to aid me here, to keep the cops off my tail.

But Zucco fled Gotham. He fled me. Little does he know, I'm difficult to shake once I'm on the hunt. I'll find him soon enough. 

I'll just need to find someone willing to divulge some information.

*

"Stop staring at me."

Diefenbaker continued staring hungrily at Ray, or rather his donut. He knew he was a soft touch, at least more so than me.

"You're a wolf. When did you develop a taste for donuts? Do they even have them in Canada?"

"As a matter of fact Ray, they do. My father would often spoil Diefenbaker with donuts, no matter how often I would plead with him not to. He seemed to think that he was starving." I glanced at Diefenbaker's stomach, which seemed to have developed a small amount of flab. "It would appear that he was mistaken."

"Well now that's hardly fair, Son." I had got so used to my phantom father appearing that I'm certain Ray didn't suspect a thing to be wrong. "He would always look at me with those big sad eyes."

"That's what he does, he plays the guilt card", I hissed under my breath.

"You speak of him like he's human. I mean, who heard of a man talking to a wolf before?"

"Do you not see the humor in a ghost ridiculing someone for talking to a dog?" I asked.

He thought for a moment. "Well, when you put it that way..."

I looked across at Ray. His donut had vanished, and Diefenbaker was looking very pleased with himself. I was about to ask him to refrain from feeding junk food to my wolf when Detectives Gardino and Huey entered the bullpen, escorting two gentlemen in with them. 

The gentlemen appeared to have been injured. One of them appeared on the verge of catatonia, whereas the other man's eyes were darting around the room. 

"Hey, Huey and Louie!" Ray called over to them. "What's with these two wiseguys? They look like they saw Francesca just after she woke up!"

*

Up here on the rooftops, Chicago is loud. There aren't many grapple points, so I have to rely on agility over technology. 

I've been on the hunt for hours when I hear it. A person screaming for help. I look down from the building top I'm on. A old woman, with her back to the wall. Two young men, advancing on her. One of them has a knife. The other appears unarmed.

Child's play.

*

The old broad's screaming for help. Sadly for her though, she's in Chicago. Ain't no one coming to help her.

That's when I hear the voice.

"Let her go," it commands. It sounds like it belongs to the Grim fucking Reaper.

Before I get the chance to zero in on where the voice came from, a figure drops in front of me. It lands in front of the old woman, blocking my way to her. It seems to be dressed in some sort of cloak.

"Little early for Halloween, ain't it pal?" I say, trying to sound brave. "I mean, who do you think you are? Batman?" The figure grins, and that’s when I realize just who I’m facing.

My buddy Troy runs at him with the knife. Before I have time to blink, he’s lying flat on his back. The knife skitters into the alleyway, out of reach. Not that I could have done anything with it anyway. All the guys who came here from Gotham say the Bat's unkillable, that he's a demon who can walk into automatic gunfire without a scratch. I dunno if that's true, but I do know that some schmuck with a knife ain't no match for him. So I do what any sane person would do.

I turn and run like crazy.

Behind me I hear a noise, like something being fired followed by the sound of cable pulling something in, and then he's in front of me, blocking my way out of the alley.

He walks towards me, all traces of a grin wiped from his face.

"Don't hurt me man! I'll leave the old woman alone, you hear? She's free!" I wail, all traces of acting the tough guy fallen away. 

"She was free as soon as I saw her." His voice seemed to come deep from within his chest. He's angry, yet also calm. He's in his element. "Tell me what you know about Tony Zucco and maybe I'll not cripple you."

*

"Do you know anything about this Tony Zucco, Ray?"

We were driving over to Frank Zucco's house, to have a little talk with him.

"Yeah, he's some mafia goon over in Gotham City. Hired killer - he'll do anything, so long as the pay is good," I reply. "He's Frank Zucco's cousin - You remember Frankie, don't you Benny?"

"Quite vividly, yes."

"So anyway, this guy in the bullpen earlier was blubbering about how this Batman was asking after Tony. So Tony's on the run from Gotham, and decides he's going to turn to dear old Frankie for help - you know these mafia types, always banging on about family and loyalty."

"So we're going to Frank Zucco's house, to ask about this cousin of his?" Fraser asked.

"Yep! Maybe see if we can find anything." The house came into view. I smile, always happy to fuck up Zucco’s day. 

*

Sitting in the hotel room, I prepare for the night's work. The criminal told me where Zucco would be staying - a cousin's house. I’ll go there, snatch him, take him back to Gotham. Let him face justice. 

"Bruce."

I flinch. 

"Bruce, you can't keep doing this to yourself." 

I ignore the voice. Have to put it out of my mind. For almost thirty years, I yearned to hear that voice again. Now I dread it. Dread it's disapproving tone. Dread the disappointment. 

"You know you can't ignore me forever Bruce."

I feel my fists balling up. I can't be losing my mind. Perhaps Alfred was right. Perhaps I should try taking a day off once in a blue moon.

"Bruce, your father and I are worried."

"Really?" I respond. "If you knew the training I'd undertaken, you wouldn't be."

"We know the training you took, we saw it. We've been watching over you your whole life." Something catches in my throat. 

"Why did you only come to me these past few months then?" I ask. "If you've been watching over me since I was eight, why did you only come to me six months ago?"

There is no response. I turn around, and nobody is there with me.

Just like always.

I clear the phantom from my mind, and prepare to go to work.

*

"I'm kinda wishing I'd brought more coffee." Ray stared glumly at his empty flask. 

We'd been staking out Frank Zucco's house for around three hours now. Diefenbaker was with Lieutenant Welsh, on account of the flatulence that always occurs when he eats too many donuts. Of course, Frank had denied any knowledge of Tony having come from Gotham. Of course, he said, he would let us know if Tony called. Of course, Ray and I were not fooled. 

"You know Son, I've had to stay awake for days without any chemical stimulants." My father, back from whatever afterlife he spends his time in. "And this Yank can't even stay awake for a few hours to find some lunatic dressed like a flying rodent." He gestured at Ray, who had nodded off.

"Yes well, he's had a rough time," I replied.

"Oh I'm sure Son. Feeding wolves donuts can be a very trying experience."

"What is it with you and Americans any way? You've never seemed to have any respect for any of them."

"Well, take this Batman who's looking for this Zucco," my father said. "His city is so crime-ridden and decadent that they have to rely on a Halloween reject to keep things at least somewhat in order. That's not even getting into Metropolis."

"And I suppose what you're suggesting is that Canada has no need for these costumed vigilantes?"

"Well, when was the last time you heard of a Mountie needing help from a vigilante?"

My father posed a good question. Not since the 1920's, when a man with an almost supernatural sense of smell helped track a serial killer. Of course, he ended up killing the serial killer himself and escaping, but still -

"Hey Son. I think I see something." My father pointed at the roof of Zucco's house. I strained, but then I saw it - a silhouette. Definitely human shaped. 

"Ray, wake up," I said, tapping him on the shoulder. "There's something on the roof."

*

We both ran for the house. I pulled my gun out of my coat. I decided to go in the front, Benny went round back. I was inside the house, checking all the rooms when I heard gunfire. Someone shouted "Get down!" followed by a large crash. I ran into the room the gunfire had come from, and saw Benny with a figure lying on top of him.

"Fraser, you okay?" I aim at the guy on top of him, trying not to panic.

"I'm fine Ray," Fraser said. "This man seems to be hurt though. He dived on top of me to shield me from the gunfire, and appeared to take the brunt of it." I lowered the gun and leaned in closer, trying to get a better look. I almost fell over with fright when the figure suddenly stood up.

"I hope you're happy," the man said. "Zucco got away."

I was about to ask him just who he thought he was, when I noticed the suit he was wearing. Gray armor with a black cape. A mask that covered most of his face, leaving only his mouth and chin visible. Even his eyes were hidden behind white slits. As if all of this wasn't a big enough indicator, on the center of his chest was a large black bat.

Well shit.

"Excuse me Sir, but I'm afraid you're going to have to come with us." Standing up, Fraser placed a hand on Batman's shoulder. I cringed. Only Benny would try to arrest the frigging Batman. He shrugged off Benny’s hand like it was nothing, looking around the room, until he found what he'd been searching for. 

"You," he said, directing his attention at an injured goon on the floor. The goon looked up in dread as he approached. I'd heard stories about the Bat of Gotham, about how he would terrify people. Make them more likely to make a mistake in combat. It wasn't stuff that really bothered me, to be honest. Criminals who prey on the vulnerable need a good scaring. Benny didn't seem to agree though.

"Excuse me, I think the man has had enough," Fraser said. The man was telling Batman everything he wanted to know regarding Zucco's location. He apparently had a small army with him.

"Thank you," Batman said. He then headbutted the man, knocking him out. He turned to us. "Thankfully, your little blunder didn't cost me my target."

"Sir, you need to come with us. You've caused this man a great injury, plus two other men earlier," Fraser said, contempt hidden in his voice. Hidden, but there.

"No. What I need to do is get Zucco."

"You should let the police handle him," Fraser replied.

"If the police were competent, I wouldn't exist," Batman said, a tone of annoyance in his voice.

"Hey hey!" I said, getting both of their attention. "How about we deal with how to get Zucco first, then we can bicker later."

"You're not serious Ray? He's a vigilante, a criminal who delights in causing terror in others," Fraser said incredulously.

"I don't do partners." Batman’s voice was cold and dismissive, like my school principal.

"Look, we all know where he's holed up, right? Why don't we work out how to get him first, then we can discuss the formalities of the legal system?" Fraser looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head, while Batman seemed almost amused.

"Fine," Fraser said, before turning his attention to Batman. "But tell me this - why do you want to catch Tony Zucco so much?"

"He's a hired killer. He's on the run from Gotham for attacking a travelling acrobat family - the Flying Graysons." Batman's voice seemed full of hate. "He killed the two adults, and orphaned an eight year old boy."

Fraser’s face went blank for a moment as he thought. "Fine. We'll work together. But only if you hand over Zucco, and turn yourself in."

Yeah Benny. Like that would happen.

"Fine. Both of you meet me there as soon as you can." Without waiting for an answer, he strode out through the door.

*

Staking out the warehouse was easy. There's an entrance for the Mountie and his friend on the ground, and a skylight for me. I enter first, make a big commotion, while they pick off the lone guards.

"You know catching this man won't bring us back."

Sighing with irritation, I ignore the hallucination. 

"Why are you so determined to catch this man?"

"Because no one caught the man who killed you!" I snap. 

"So catching this man will be like catching our killer?"

"No. It's more than that," I say. "If you've been watching me all this time, you know I chose to take in the Grayson child - Dick."

"Yes, we saw that. It's proof that you can do good without having to turn yourself into a monster."

"It's too late for me - this is what I am. But if I can catch the man who killed this child's parents, then maybe he won't have this thirst for vengeance. Your murderer was never caught - and it ruined me. Maybe I would have still followed this path had he been caught, maybe not. All I know is, if I catch Zucco, maybe Dick won't turn into me."

"But what if he does?"

"Then I'll train him so he won't kill himself."

*

"So you know what you need to do?" Batman asked.

"Yes. Wait for you to go through the skylight, then go through the ground entrance while everyone's distracted and take down any lone guards.” As plans went, this one at least had the virtue of simplicity. 

Batman nodded, and without any further words grappled to a roof above the skylight. He waited for Ray and I to get into position, then without a word dropped through the skylight. I nodded at Ray and kicked open the door. Splitting up, we went through different corridors. There weren't many guards, and what few there were were distracted by the commotion coming from the main room. Guns fired, people swore and screamed. Bones snapped. I winced as I hurried through, hoping to try and end the carnage.

*

I walked through one door at the same time as Benny walked through another. We were greeted by a scene of total horror. There must have been a good couple of dozen goons in there, all unable to move. They all seemed to be alive if the moaning was anything to go by. I looked at Fraser, who seemed utterly disgusted at what he saw. Men were lying with limbs bent at unnatural angles, some with bones sticking out. I felt sick. Two were hanging by some kind of cable tied around their feet. 

In the center of it all was Batman, crouched over someone. It was Tony Zucco, practically crying from fear. I aimed my gun at Batman. Any sense of appreciation had vanished. Scaring some goons who'd tried to stab an old woman was one thing. But this... This was too much. 

"Freeze Batman," I commanded. Before I could react, he'd thrown something at me. Something small and metal and bat-shaped stuck out of the end of my gun - the fuck? Bat-shuriken? Fraser marched towards the psycho, having had enough.

"Fraser, don't go near him!" I shouted. Given what he'd done to an entire room of thugs, I didn't want to see what he could do to one Mountie. Despite myself, I ran over to him, unable to fix my gun. 

Fraser grabbed hold of Batman to try and get him off Zucco. Batman stood up carrying Fraser like he weighed nothing, and knocked him off. Fraser stood back up and went at him again. I did the same, somehow thinking that if we could both double team him we might overwhelm him. He saw us coming a mile off, and easily countered our attacks at the same time. I could tell he was going easy on us, mostly because we were still standing. Fraser wouldn't back down though, and started swinging wildly in a rage. I’d never seen Benny in a rage before. It might have been more terrifying had any of his punches connected though. Batman was just too skilled. Even as he was blocking Fraser's punches, he knocked me back with a kick when I tried to go for him. This might have carried on forever, were it not for a sudden light that came from above the skylight. It was blinding. Before we could make another grab at Batman, he snatched Zucco with one hand and grappled up into the air. Then the light disappeared, and we were alone.

*

Zucco is unconscious in the rear of the plane. I’m feeling that familiar high I get when I’ve caught someone, looking forward to seeing Dick’s reaction when I tell him his parent’s murderer is caught. 

It’s night time, and in the reflection on the windscreen, for the briefest of moments, she is looking at me again. Such disappointment. 

The high vanishes, and is once again replaced by the familiar emptiness.

*

“So, you say you were trying to bring in this Tony Zucco with Batman’s help?” My ulcer was playing up, and I did not need this shit.

“Yes sir, Lieutenant. He was rather adamant about taking Zucco to face justice in Gotham, despite the best efforts of Detective Vecchio and myself,” Constable Fraser said, his face the color of his uniform.

I was in the middle of swallowing some water to wash my tablets down, and had to stop myself from laughing it back up. “Wait, what? You two tried to fight the Batman?” I started guffawing. I don’t think I’d ever seen Vecchio look so scared. I should laugh more often. Then again, I hadn’t been there to witness this ill-fated attack on Gotham’s own personal military ninja. “Damn it, I gotta call Gordon. He’ll love this!” I slipped the wolf another donut, and could have sworn even he was laughing.


End file.
